This Is Not Going To Work

Sydney bike plan: shared pavements

Normally, this is where I'd rub my hands with evil glee but sadly, a lot of people are going to get very, very badly hurt.

I'm wondering how councils get so full of bike-loving idiots. Not car-hating specifically, not pedestrian-hating, but bike-loving. The country's councils appeared to be filled with lunatics who think that bicycles must at all times be subject to extra care and attention while pedestrians, motorists and public transport can go hang. Here's some choice quotes:

'At least 12 cyclists have been hit by cars or trucks on College Street between 2003 and 2007.'

Awful. How many of them were the fault of the cyclists? No figures, of course, it must have been the car's fault.

'A council spokesman said the shared pathways would not have a painted line to separate bikes from pedestrians.'

Perfect. So whoever is biggest and fastest gets right of way. So bikes win.

'Cyclists would be encouraged to keep to the left, whether they were travelling north or south'

Bwahahaha. Yeah, right. Pedestrians won't keep right, bikes won't keep left. Someone is on the crack cocaine and has been smoking it like a cigarette.

'"The general rule is to keep to the left. It will slow all the traffic down and everyone will mingle at the same speed. There won't be a line on the ground so it will take a bit of understanding from everyone involved."'

Bzzt. Enough people are idiots, on the phone, distracted or all three. That includes people on bikes.

Here's my favourite:

'Councillor John McInerney, chair of the council's traffic committee, called for riders to stick to a 10kmh speed limit on the shared path.'

Fat chance

'"Of course, there will always be the odd rogue cyclist or even the rogue pedestrian..."'

....who will actually stick to the rules.

'"But we want to mirror the European experience."'

Which would be what exactly? Europe's a big place. I believe heaps of cyclists are killed in Poland. In Europe they are kept off the footpaths on ludicriously wide bike lanes.

Harold Scruby started well:

'"I think we should offer $1000 prize money to the first person to see a cyclist doing 10kmh."'

I second that.

'"The long term outcome will be that many pedestrians will be seriously injured and some will be killed."'

Steady on. The really fast riders will stay on the road causing their usual mayhem.

But seriously folks. They can't be serious. Bicyclists need to be separated from pedestrians and cars for everybody's safety. Cyclists have this apoplexy they reserve for loss of momentum that is commonly referred to as road rage when it's a driver that carries on like that. This is moronic, dangerous and a waste of money. Since when do pedestrians walk at 10km/h? A brisk walk, something the average Aussie fatty can't manage, is 6km/h. Mingling? More like mangling.

Here's the best one from the bike side:

'Alex Unwin from Bicycle NSW said increased cycling would increase "the levels of community health ... while addressing the great issue of our times, global warming."'

Like they're the only solution. Halfwit.