Melbourne Is Not Going Anywhere

City transport plan revealed

I should have put the word plan in inverted commas because, after reading this, there isn't a plan. Anything big (Uncle Rod's road tunnel) and the St Kilda Road metro are 'years away.'

Translation: anything big isn't happening on John Brumby's watch. We've had a ton of these 'transport blueprints' and none of them have achieved a single improvement in Melbourne's public transport. Vacillation is the order of the day, as are stupendously expensive consultant reports which the government, as though compelled by legislation to do so, routinely ignores, whatever the report says.

All Brumby is doing is shifting an already-promised 2016 start for the South Morang extension, bringing it to 2010 (huzzah, sort of), commissioning more 'detailed studies' (see above) and suggesting he might maybe one day do Uncle Rod's tunnel and the metro line. Contingent on...?

Yes, Federal funding. Another translation for you: 'We've pissed the good times up against the wall for the last 15 years, wasting money on the Commonwealth Games and other pointless, money-losing sporting events so now we need your money.'

Uncle Kev's response will be short and sharp: 'Get stuffed.' Good, too, this government deserves a thorough bollocking at the next state election (2010...shock!)

Of course there's more roads in there, as though that will fix things but there isn't any more than about $1.2bn in actual commitments, out of about $20bn worth of announcements. Chairman Mao would be proud of this sort of talking down to the people. He really would.